You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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