her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
