So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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