brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
