Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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