Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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