i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
