I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When did angry sex become our thing?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
