its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
