I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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