Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
