do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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