I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
