You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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