So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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