She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
