dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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