I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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