But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
All I want is dick and wine.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
