You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
