No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
