So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
