i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
