i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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