Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
