Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
