If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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