Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
