i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
