checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
