If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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