I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
