Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
