i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
