i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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