He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
