mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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