but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
