Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize