Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
