So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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