y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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