Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
