Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
