Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
