Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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