So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
