When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
