the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
