used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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