cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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