I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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