He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
