Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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