i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize