took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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