...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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