Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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