$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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